Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in J. Shufini's LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 30th, 2005
11:41 pm	Last night, around a fire, amid much pipe-smoking/banjo-picking/meat-grilling, among some people I don't know and some I know too well, I am introduced to the cousin of a friend: "This is James. He's got a masters in architecture, but he's too much of an artist to be an architect." Brilliant! So what have I been doing with the last three years of my life? (No, I haven't been posting to LJ, but thanks for keeping me around to everyone who's reading this now) As it turns out, I'm finished with school a semester earlier than expected. I don't think this is very common, so none of the powers-on-current-rotation noticed it until they had us fill out some kind of progress report and I realized that I didn't have any more boxes to fill (this was maybe 1-2 weeks before the end of the semester). This is ultimately due to my semester abroad (the last time I was posting actively.. when I was threatened with being held back a year), which was finally recorded in February as graduate-level credit (rather than the undergrad prerequisites I was missing). While I expected someone to quickly answer "Does this mean I can graduate early?" with "No, you still need X," each higher level of bureaucracy looked over the paperwork, shrugged and said, "Looks like it. Congratulations. Good luck. (I don't really care, and I don't feel like arguing)" I won't have a diploma until August (for missed deadlines), but I crossed the stage and shook the hands a few weeks ago. I'm done. Now what? The easier thing to explain is what I've been doing since, which has been very simple. I've been sleeping and eating.. cooking, reading, having long conversations, rediscovering wine and maintaining a healthy friendship with coffee. I've taken care of all the documentation I'd been putting off for years and am in the (very slow) process of assembling all of that into some kind of document to demonstrate my brilliance to strangers yet again. I've had some meetings with old professors to discuss possibilities and some e-mails from others to ask if I'd be around for digital rendering work later in the summer (have done a bit of this in the past, but unfortunately nothing lined up for the immediate future at the moment). This is the first serious break I've had since before I started grad school, and it's at the point of becoming dangerously addictive. At least I'm making very good use of my days -- typically in bed by a reasonable hour, then awake without alarm about the time my roommates are getting ready for work (perhaps I could actually do 9-6 now), and the time between is spent doing mostly practical things at a somewhat more leisurely pace than I'm used to. Of course, I'm going to get sick of this very soon, which should coincide nicely with the completion of the portfolio and its distribution across the world. In the time of conversations and waiting that might follow, I'll probably look for some kind of regular (salaried? benefits? egads..) employment around here, but the plan is to leave and get as urban as quickly and interestingly as possible. No need for lavish living at the moment, or even working in this field (actually, a bit sick of it at the moment), but I do demand interesting work and surroundings. That's it for now.. just a simple state-of-life-at-present for those of you whom I haven't talked to in months or years, and for myself to read after another few. Even if I don't get around to writing again for another long while, I'll try to do a better job of reading and commenting. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
11:09 pm	Hoo-haaa! For no reason whatsover, I feel like posting to this thing again, even though (for exactly the same lack of reason) I haven't done so for at least a few months.. probably closer to half a year. I'm quite busy as usual, which pleases me mainly because I don't think I'd know what to do with my time if I wasn't. Lots of work to do, lots of work to anticipate, and plenty of things to put off until the absolute final minute. Like moving, which I'll be doing over fewer weeks than I'd like to count, and have thus far neglected to do much about because the time can still be counted in weeks. But if anyone reading this needs some decent secondhand furniture, at rock-bottom, move-it-yourself prices, I'll soon be setting up shop. Or little paperwork things for next semester, which seem less important every time around. But altogether, I'm doing well, staying fed with interesting work, and still happy that I get to sit in the incubator for a little while longer before hatching into the real world. (One of these days, I'll get around to posting some images online and show you all what I've been up to) I've been reading these somewhat religiously even though I haven't posted, which I suppose is a bit selfish, but perhaps I'll get better about that one of these days. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 16th, 2004
2:18 am	It's quarter-past-two, and I'm in a stuffy shop corner watching a laser cutter work its magic. Hoo-ha! I've not written a word in this thing in longer than I'd like to look up right now. Well over a month, I'm sure. There's been no lack of action, but I'm not in a mood to recount in laborious detail, and I've already bumped into a good number of you in person, so I'll just summarize very briefly, then start anew. My wandering has deposited me in Raleigh again, and I'm enjoying being home very much for the moment. After all that intercontinental chest-puffing last semester, it seems my school is more or less willing to have me back in the sequence where I belong. At least, I've been taking the classes I feel I should be in, and nobody's made a move to stop me. Presumably, I'll still have to present some work from the fall, but the longer we all put this off, the more likely I'll just get a nod and a shrug, and a signature on the line for proper credit. The studio is quickly becoming my second home again -- as much by choice as necessity at the moment. For the past two days, I've been scrambling to finish up something to send overseas, so I've been working much more than anybody else, but it's a comforting feeling (in a tired, hungry, intoxicated-by-burning-chipboard sort of way). Our instructor this time around is much more pragmatic than anything we've ever encountered (always mentions sales and clients before design), and seems to want very little to do with teaching other than answering questions between phone calls from his office, and impromtu-lecturing on the importance of this or that technique in 'building your client's trust'. Aha! My wee engraving is finishing up... but I've a good bit left to do on this thing before I sleep. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 28th, 2003
1:28 am	And just when I thought it was safe to leave, I end up producing work that gets a very nice response. Never before have I been in a review where the critic says, "Right, we can all agree the concept's solid. So.. I guess we could talk about the design?" And the professor/programme director, earlier this evening: "Yes, why -don't- you stay the rest of the year? Instead of going back to Cincinnatti and getting bored." However tempting the invitation might be, Cincinnatti makes much more sense at the moment, even if I'm going to be horribly out of step when I get back. Thanksgiving didn't happen. All the vague plans made with other Americans a month ago never materialized. I spent the evening at a lecture, then had a turkey sandwich with my lentil soup, in the company of the buzzing fluorescent light in our flat's lounge. My flatmates don't do much besides play cards and cook smelly mushy messes of olive oil, potato, onion, and/or ground beef. The Frenchman plays very loud ska. The Greek laughs at private jokes until everyone pays attention to him. The Valencian spends most of his time in pyjamas. The Norwegian quotes Michael Douglas from Wall Street. They're always surprised to see me. My free time, which is basically any block that I can't assign to work or sleeping/eating/defecating, belongs almost entirely to Claudia. We've been travelling the past few Saturdays, using the odd weekday night to sneak out to the cinema or to the west end, which is the only place in this city where a few bars pour coffee instead of lager. Long, brilliant conversations ensue. I'm almost convinced it would never survive were it not already condemned, but that's an easy answer to the question we don't ask. The number of days we have left is too pathetic even to type. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 19th, 2003
11:44 am	It's that time of the month again for my laptop to be broken. Shouldn't a Thinkpad be able to survive a drop from the height of an average dorm-room desktop? In fifth grade, we made a little styrofoam box that protected an -egg- for a drop of thirty feet, so shouldn't this tough plastic and titanium thing be able to fall three? I tripped over the cable last night and pulled it onto the floor, which apparently killed the LCD. The rest of the machine still works (praise Jesus-Buddha-Vishnu-Lao Tzu-St. Mungo) so I can do work connected to a monitor, but IBM and the housing department are back on my grudge list. Yesterday's crit was particularly scathing all around. Mine went rather well, but I'm not sure how to take that. I don't know if I'm actually coming up with good, simple stuff that works (my intention) or if they're patting the American on the head until he goes home in a month. One particulary funny example from the rest of the group: Crittee: ...so I'm providing public meeting places in the urban fabric. Critter: Yeah, we've got those already. Anywhere I sit down with my friends is a place to have a meeting. It doesn't have to be your little box here [indicates model, rather like a balsa-wood telephone box] Crittee: But this is a private place, operated with a coin. You have to pay to use it, then you can have your private meeting-- Critter: "Penthouse for let, fifty pounds an hour." What's the difference? [long pause] Crittee: Well. I was also thinking about how you can have an HIV test now and get the results in fifteen minutes. Critter: So this is... a testing center? Crittee: Yes, it's about public health. Critter: Ohhhh! But most weren't turned around so easily. Some people may have been talked out of good ideas, just because they hadn't boiled them down to a bumper-sticker slogan or two. I've got ambitions of finishing all my work for Tuesday by Friday afternoon so that we might travel again this weekend. Was going to put it off til next week, but I found out yesterday I might have to go to Liverpool then for more silly studio business. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
3:10 pm	The sun! Brilliant blue sky and plural clouds! Just when I commanded it to appear! The effects on my mood have been refreshingly predictable. Perhaps this will give me energy for an afternoon of manic work, and I can take the evening off... tomorrow's going to be hellish no matter what. Have I mentioned I love modeling with plastic? No, I haven't, because I discovered it fifteen minutes ago. Compared to wood, it's like building with Lego. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
6:15 pm	It's been just over a week since I've seen the sun, and I miss it terribly. Everything's very grey, and very wet. For a few hours in the middle of the day, the sky brightens to a dull white, but it never quite clears up and one feels a long way from fresh air. I'm blowing my nose about a dozen times an hour, and the pressure built up from all of the above is thumping at my temples like the big drum in the marhcing band. Models to build for Friday. I've very little idea what I'm doing with my work these days, besides scrambling to catch up with a studio that's beyond my level, and hoping I'll be allowed back into my own school when I return. Much more of Scotland to see, and very little time in which to see it. I want a long, straight road to drive down, and a convertible to drive down it, on a late summer evening with the sun disappeared and a storm coming in. And then, I want rain. Real rain, warm and lots of it, pouring. The smell of it before anything falls, then the first bit sizzling on asphalt, then soaking to the skin. The sky should not be incontinent and dribbly for months on end. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2003
5:59 pm	I worked a beastly amount at the end of last week, and celebrated with a Saturday trip to Edinburgh, which was cold and rainy but otherwise enchanting. Claudia and I left early morning and came back mid-evening, spending the time between wandering through all the touristed streets and down some back alleys, touring a palace and lurking a very long time in the National Gallery a' Scotland. I was very excited by a Piranesi room on the map, but it was all in storage so the space could be used for some chalk drawings by a 19th c. Scot that I hadn't heard of (nice work anyhow). Their Velasquez also seemed to have mysteriously wandered off, but a nice Murillo (a direct, almost academic copy of Caravaggio's dirty-fingernailed Bacchus) and Zurbaran (an old man, rather like Caravaggio's water-seller) still hung around the spot where he should have been. I've always been a sucker for the Baroque. There was a good deal of very nice work by more Scots (who were also, to me, unknown), but a few that might not have made it to anybody else's National Gallery. A couple examples -- late 19th c. romantic stuff -- made us both laugh out loud, which is apparently not something you're supposed to do in a museum. Our studio is doing a three-day workshop now on film, architecture, and visual notation. It's a fun little diversion from the usual archi-babble. We're diagramming film scenes, basically -- blocking, montage, focus, chronology, physical and psychological scene, etc. They play film clips, we sketch madly, then look at what we've got and try to work out systems. Very nice to be in a program that encourages this kind of thing. I went around in Edinburgh without a jacket, which may be the reason I've got a cold now. Still, something about the air in this place has given me an occasional cough since I've been here, and this will be the second cold I've had in three months. Glasgow's a lovely city, but I don't think I could stay for very long... it also gets dark at four in the afternoon now, and I hear that by January there will be five hours of sunlight a day. (Comment on this)
Friday, November 7th, 2003
3:08 pm	I took a nap an hour ago, and dreamt I was walking around a soundstage. It was on the second or third floor of a building, with no windows and probably a two-three story space in itself. There wasn't any filming going on, but several conference tables set up around the floor with phones and cushy rolling office chairs. Some academic people were sitting in the chairs having a chuckle before the action started. One or two students sat on the stairwell leading up to the room, also waiting for something. But the reason I remember any of it is that the floors and walls in each conference area were painted solid, luminant Yves Klein blue. This made me very happy. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 31st, 2003
7:17 pm	I had my first Scottish all-nighter Wednesday, not in a pub but a Photoshop. It was highly silly of me, and in retrospect I would've rather had the sleep, but it's a lovely, reassuring feeling to clamp on headphones, brew some tea, and lose all sense of time. This because I had a Thursday AM meeting with the studio prof, and wanted to have a bit of work to show for once. The meetings were running over their 15-minute allotments and I fully anticipated an expert belittlement, but it went surprisingly happily, ie, "..and you've used the existing pedestrian walkways for it, but of course! Why the hell wouldn't you!" The only real criticism, about an incidental feature: "Yes, well that's a wonderful thing you've just said, but then your drawings don't really show it, do they?" I've still got a mountain to do to break even with the rest of the group. There's talent in there, and they're three years ahead of me in studio experience, so can all produce very quick and decisive stuff. Might go to Edinburgh tomorrow with Claudia, who isn't happy that I work so much, but puts up with me regardless and is an all-around lovely girl. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 25th, 2003
7:20 pm	"The osmosis-genius theory of architecture is bullshit." , says my studio director. He's a self-defined Libertarian Communist, and spent an hour Wednesday assigning us a reading list that spanned roughly Hegel to Derrida. Do I agree? Who cares? It's a more intelligent stroll past ideas I've so far been coached to adopt through illiterate, intuitive-diagrammatic methods. I'm happily lapping up marrow (and not getting very many practical things done). The one I hinted at very far below has also been a distraction. This weekend, she's off to some island, which gives me leave to play Quasimodo in the shadowy nooks of the Arch building. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 17th, 2003
5:55 pm	My home-school blokes are finally coming around. Or I am. Either way, I've found some courses here that correspond closely enough to things there, and they seem willing to grease the differences and let me slide back in as long as I slant my studio in a structural direction and provide copious documentation. Now that I've been forced to consider the issue, I don't particularly want to go back ...but I really have nowhere else to go at the moment. I attended a lecture at the Glasgow School of Art last night, deep in the bowels of the Mackintosh building in a perfect, tiny lecture theater that the man himself must have designed. All musty dark wood and very smart geometry. The seating was long benches that were uncomfortable until you leaned forward against a little angled shelf provided for one's forearms. Afterwards, I wandered arch studios there with some Strathclyde people and a guy they knew who had transferred. It seemed very much like State, where there are plenty of new computers that arch students use only for CAD and Photoshop. Good work about, though, and a homey studio feeling. It seems impossible that I'm leaving in two months, and I know the time will evaporate quickly. Very, very frustrating. I'm getting into a comfortable niche here, it's a fantastic city, and I've found a compelling reason or two to stay. Being back in the sleepy land of cars just doesn't seem palatable at the moment. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 13th, 2003
4:31 pm	Uyyyy... My dean/former boss in the states, fresh from a meeting with the academic powers that be, has finally swung to their side and instructed me to find a studio focused on structures. It doesn't exist here, even at the undergrad level. I've got two months left and I haven't produced -anything-. I fill the better part of my days just trying to claw my way to the top of an international pile of bullshit. At home, they can't decide what hoops to make me hop through next to stay enrolled at their little oasis of capital-M Modernism. Over here, they're only too happy to let me pick poppies all day, so long as I'm only staying a semester. I'd be almost ready to chuck grad school altogether if I could work legally in the EU. The really funny, depressing part of it is that I -want- to work! I'm here to learn, dammit, and I'll give 20 hours a day with the smallest prod, so gimme some learnin already! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 10th, 2003
3:48 pm	Plat du jour: Find a new studio 10ish, Arrive in Ph.D office (where I'm using a desk) and chat with Ph.D student about studio problems. Referred to Undergrad Academic Director. 10:10ish, Find Undergrad Academic Director having a coffee break. Am told to return in ten minutes. 10:20: Meeting with UAD, where I acquire copies of 3rd and 4th year course listings. I'm recommended to look into 4th year studio, which is led by the new head of the dept. 10:30: Dept Head's secretary says he's busy the rest of the day, but if I call back later, I might be squeezed in. 10:40-11:30: Downtown with Ph.D people to help pick up copies of a thesis from printers' and deliver to registry. 12ish: Lunch in the flat -- lentil soup. 12:30/1 Call secretary, get appointment for 1:40 1:35 Arrive for appointment 2:00 Dept Head arrives for appointment. I've never seen him in the building before. He's American, wears black turtleneck with ash sportcoat. About switching into his studio: "Weeelll.. we're not really like your typical deSIGN studio. We've been doing a different assignment every day. There's not really any way you could ...catch up? Yeaaah.. I'd say go talk to [5th year studio director]. He might have something." Then, a hesitation, "Wait, which school did you say you were from?" I tell him. "Yeaah.. go talk to [the same]." 2:10 - Breakthrough 5th year prof is in his office with the door open. Looks like a younger Norman Foster. I explain my studio situation. This seems to confirm some opinions in his own head, and he's refreshingly annoyed in my favor, "Yes, we do architecture over here." But it's very theoretical and the work looks like people have put some thought into it. There's no question about whether I can switch in -- the only issue is which project I prefer and how quickly I can meet everyone and get started. He gives me a CD full of actual, digital work done in last spring's session, and the names of some students to root out when I visit their studio space (later tonight). Woo-ha! No more CAD tutorial for this bored yank! (And for a completely different topic, thank 'eaven for German girls! They're lovely and diabolically witty.) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2003
7:23 pm	Studio is nearly as bad as it possibly could be, and in the worst way. The professor has now appeared for one out of three meetings, leaving critiques to a Ph.D student who didn't have a copy of the syllabus until he borrowed mine last night, and would understandably rather be doing something else. There are six students, all of whom have supposedly finished architecture degrees, and they're mostly dense near-middle-agers of the type who think having a master's with "computing" in the title on their CV will get them a better paycheck. Now, perhaps by saying all this, I'm coming across as a pompous cad. But hear me now and listen to me later: we were given a vague prompt one week ago for a form-generation assignment. Half of the studio came to the meeting today without a single byte of work done. Not a line, not a sketch, hardly a bleary stare into the inky, forbidding realm of CAD. Mid-week, I went to the library to check for the one recommended title that everyone had dutifully copied down at our last session. All three copies were still on the shelf. One fellow complains earnestly in your ear for as long as you'll let him. Two can't discuss form without using words like, "balcony" and "front door." The only one that isn't hopelessly inept is this girl who's a registered architect in India.. and I can't help feeling bad that she's come this far at such expense to be among such a winning crew. She's not the most creative character I've ever met, but she at least brings a professional attitude to the table and asks bright questions. So the whole thing's a joke. If I tried to pass off the work I'm doing now as a studio at home, I'd be laughed into expulsion. Must, must find something more stimulating. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
12:54 am	Progress! Sort of. At least, a response. I tried a different tactic with the only dean who seems to be on my side -- the fellow who sent me here and the only administrative power who has an interest in seeing that I come back. As my subtle forwards failed to elicit any reaction, I sent a very brief 4-5 line note with a command to read the earlier notes and write back to me, along with a not-heavily-veiled hint that I might wander away if I'm delayed nine months by a technicality. So he's finally set up a meeting with the other two parties, and I just might get to come home after all. Yahoo. If I can't be loved, I might just settle for grudgingly accepted. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 6th, 2003
6:09 pm	I was very hungry tonight, so I made a big pot of spaghetti (remember, I'm also very poor) and somehow when I salted the water, I entirely ignored the fact that I was borrowing a rather small pot. This yielded a steaming pile that was salty to the point of inedibility. So I suffered through about a third of that, then drank three glasses of water and dumped the whole thing in the trash. Still hungry. An hour before this, I realized I was due for a trim and went to the local barbery. As usual, the nice girl took off much more than I expected, but it feels very nice to be rid of the better part of that scraggly mass. Two unusually verbose and personal e-mails this morning from people I haven't seen in a while, which I realized mid-day had put me in a pleasant mood. I feel terribly behind the rest of the world, and it doesn't help that studio's taking forever to grind into any sort of momentum. We don't have a common space to speak of, and I'm certain there's never going to be a semblance of personal cohesion in the group. I'd really love to be surprised about all this. (Comment on this)
Friday, October 3rd, 2003
2:19 pm	My laptop's back, and it's lovelier than ever! There was still a suspicious burning-plastic smell for a while, but it seems to power up nicely, and thankfully nobody took the initiative to wipe my hard drive. Five minutes in the door, I backed up everything important to CD. Meanwhile, everyone at my U.S. school is still a wanker, and my studio assignment here seems (deceptively, for sure) simple. There's a nice correlation between studio and lecture courses, though, so it feels less like I'm being pulled in four different directions than examining the same issue from four different angles. The recent (lack of) communication with administratish persons only punctuates some of the problems I've had with aspects of the school since my first semester. A few thousand miles removed from the conflict, the whole thing blurs to absurdity. Every day, I'm less certain that it's the place I want to spend the next two and a half years of my life, especially when I know I could be doing better, more interesting work elsewhere. There are some really brilliant people there, instructing and studying, but their reputations aren't fat enough to give them much influence yet. I miss my family and friends, of course, but it's not overwhelming. I know I'll see them again and things will be just as they've always been. In light of recent developments, the people I really miss are my studio. I can say that freely because none of them know this journal exists. There was a rare chemistry in that room, and the worst thing in my head right now is knowing I can't ever go back. It's all a matter of dumb pride, of course. I refuse to take courses this semester which are equivalent to the ones I'm missing because here they're only offered to 2nd years... and I've been given the chance to take 5th year and postgrad courses which I find much more stimulating. Even if I take State up on their kindly suggestion to use the spring to "get ahead on electives," I'll be a year behind in the studio sequence, and I refuse to be penalized for pursuing interests outside what Walter Gropius might have enjoyed. So. Heard of any good arch schools lately? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
3:45 pm	You know you've got a fun e-mail to read when the first line is: "My responses appear below IN ALL CAPS." Which is of course to make them stand out from the copied text of the original note, but has the nice side effect of making the text look like it's etched in stone or spoken by James Earl Jones. So after a few more imperial decrees, the last line is almost as memorable: "IN OTHER WORDS, YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL FALL 04 TO RESUME THE TRACK 3 STUDIO SEQUENCE." Please, sir, can I have another? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
10:57 am	After Monday's polite threat from my home uni, I sent a couple spasmic e-mails in tones ranging from polite to peeved and topics from "Perhaps I can make this stuff up in X non-traditional way." to "Do you think Y might give me a job for a few months while I'm not allowed to go to school?" Nobody's responded yet. Even though I hadn't really expected anything within the first twenty-four hours, the whole affair is giving me an ill feeling about the state of life on my return. If I study what I want to this semester, I could probably be the only fella in town with experience in certain software, but I find this a rather lonely idea. I forsee smirks, shrugs and "Well, your renderings look nice..." instead of thoughtful critiques. My studio here could be mind-bashingly tedious, condsidering most of my companions have somehow finished degrees in architecture without attempting the third dimension in AutoCAD. I'm inspired to stick with it by two things: 1, there's only five of us, and each can probably advance in whatever direction we like; 2, the lead prof seems very sharp, and has connections to London firms where I'd give my left bollock to get in good. I don't feel very much like going home at the moment, but the alternatives would all mean more money, headaches, and bureaucratic time-wasting in every possible direction. (Comment on this)